Three Steps to a Successful Plan Which Will Reduce Bullying That Is Happening to You

This article is the final article in our series; "Four Steps to Reducing Bullying that is Happening to You!"

We have covered in depth the importance of building a team, taking responsibility for your situation, reflecting about and testing your actions and today we will implement them all in to a plan of action.

Bullying sucks. And when you are being bullied there is physical, emotional and psychological pain. This can last a long time unless you have help. This is why a team is so important. People who get bullied are oftentimes isolated by peers and this permeates into every aspect of their life. Parents may not realize why their kids are pulling away--part of it may be the teenager cycle however, a bullied individual will continue to isolate themselves to support their belief in why they are being bullied in the first place.

Challenging this belief is why we suggest taking responsibility for being bullied. This is not making it your fault. Only being responsible for your actions and your reality in life. This offers us the power of control again which is incredibly important.

When we have this power we can then reflect on our actions and thoughts. In reality, it is thoughts first and then our actions as thoughts precede our actions in life. In other words, if we think poorly about ourselves we will carry this into our body behavior and the actions we choose. And vice versa, if we think we are the creme of the crop, this will play out quite differently into our lives.

Now that you are taking responsibility, have a team, and have done reflection with some practice of new skills it is now time to make the ultimate plan. Here are the steps.

Step One--Write it Down

We want to be successful in changing our thoughts, actions and energy. By writing down a few things we will then be communicating with our brains on a different level and the ideas will stick. So first begin to write down your answer to this question; "What do I want to have or being doing differently in one year?" Dream big and write out one or two paragraphs. Be very descriptive and use words to describe sights, smells, and sounds. What would school or work be like if things were different? (You may choose to write this out in a similar format for five years from now too) This is our big goal. Your objective here is to make this such a juicy goal that you would be crazy to not go for it.

Next is to write down your why. Why would you want or need to make changes in order to achieve your goal? What would happen if you stayed the same? Enroll your mentor and/or team members for help.

In this step, we are creating leverage. When we make changes we must step out from what we know to be comfortable and our minds will resist major change. In order to ensure we take action, we must place an emphasis on our whys and dreams in order to pull our minds along with what we want. Otherwise we may begin to take action and revert to the old and "comfortable" very quickly. It takes 60 days or more to instill a new habit.

Step Two--Plan out your plan

What key actions will you take? These could include the way you walk, the route you walk, or anything else you and your team would feel can make a change in your reality. Write them down and confer with your team. Use what you have practiced from Step Three. Through this process you will learn what can work and what would not. The experimentation is important for this prior step. In your plan you need to have the things you feel will work.

All in all we want to have your plan documented for a week. What new routines will you incorporate, when will you see your mentor or team members and how will you let people know what you are up to. Place this on a calendar or write out a bulleted draft. You need something visual and specific so you can see it daily and at a glance, know if you are on track or not.

Step Three--Persist

This step may actually be better titled, Take Action. This is the implied and assumed result. We want you to take action. You want change right?

Assuming you are taking action you simply need to stay moving. Mistakes are normal and your team is there to support you. You cannot fail. You can only fall down and get back up again. Remember, it takes sixty days to make a new behavior into a habit. Keep going and re-evaluate your plane every week with your mentor. What is working? What is not working? Adjust and continue. Your life will change.

Matthew Kuehlhorn is teaching about bullying and addressing bullying in middle school. He has authored Transforming Guidelines which is building community in the classroom and he has collaborated on the creation of Bully, an illustrated novel to use in classroom community building.