Bachelor party planning is very important for both the bride and the groom. Most prospective grooms get pretty deeply involved in wedding planning-not because they necessarily enjoy visiting flower shops, wandering lost through the aisles of decoration stores, and spending hours with their bride-to-be gazing through bridal magazines, but because they're madly in love with her and because they know how important the entire event is to her. The truth be told, most women have fantasized about their wedding since they were little girls and most men realize that although this big day necessarily involves both of them, that it is really all about fulfilling the woman's wishes and dreams. That's why it's up to you as the best man, or one of the groom's best friends, to give him his moment in the spotlight by doing the bachelor party planning.
The bachelor party is the one part of the entire wedding process where people (usually other guys) are focused on the groom. So when it comes to his party, make sure that you are actually focused on him and what he wants. Too many guys throw a bachelor party either based on what they want, or else on hazing the groom in new and unpleasant ways. So before you bring in a nearly naked exotic dancer to get his eyes off his bride-to-be, make sure that's what your buddy actually wants for his last night as a free man. Maybe that is what he wants, but maybe not. And while you're at it, check any such plans with the bride. It's "his party," true, but she will eventually hear about it, and you don't want to ruin their honeymoon by having them argue about what he did when inebriated at his bachelor party.
Find out what your friend would enjoy doing and that doesn't upset his future bride, then do your best to fulfill his request. It could well be that he's more interested in going to an arcade, playing paintball, or even doing something "mundane" like competing at a batting range. Hey, it's his night and if he wants to sit around eating and laughing and consuming alcohol, it's his call. If it's something the rest of his friends can go along with then do it. Remember, this is his party. This night is about him and the boys just happen to be invited. If you're all going to be doing a substantial amount of drinking, by the way, be sure to have two or three designated drivers. You could order a limo as well, although that could be a bit pricey.
Speaking of who's invited, coming up with a guest list does not have to be that difficult. Obviously, you'll want to invite the groom's closest friends and co-workers. You'll also want to invite his dad and the bride's father, as well as the groom's and bride's brothers. If you're in doubt as to who to invite or not to invite, and none of his other friends can come up with a definitive list, you don't have to try to get names and phone numbers from the bride. This is probably not going to be a surprise party. Most grooms know that it's coming, so ask him to help you come up with the list and contact info himself.
If, however, this is going to be a surprise party-or if part of what happens during the bachelor party is going to be a surprise for the groom, such as tar-and-feathering him with chocolate and the contents of a pillowcase, or bringing in a long-lost uncle as an unexpected guest, well, you'll have to keep that little secret to a handful of trusted buds.
Who pays for the bachelor party? Well, possibly the groom's father or his future father-in-law will foot the bill-but if not, then talk to all the guys about chipping in and paying their own way. Simply figure out the costs for the party or the outing and divide the costs by the number of guys attending. Don't forget tips for the waiters or entertainers. Everyone except for the groom should pitch in.
As the best man (or the most organized of the groom's buddies) it's up to you to do the planning and organizing, and make the arrangements so that he can enjoy his last night before he's a married man.
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